To This Day, It Still Bothers Me……

So the other day I went to the gym….. it seems that this always occurs at the gym however it has happened at other public places as well.  I see your eyes…. looking at me…. watching me….. you think that I don’t notice, but I do.  I might be on an elliptical or weight machine….. I might just be walking from one area to another…. and you watch….. your eyes tell me that you are trying to figure out how I manage to do anything……..

Sometimes, I feel you staring……. I wonder what thoughts are going through your head….. I feel like walking up to you to let you know that I play guitar, I ride a motorcycle, I can tie my own shoes…….. but that would be rude.

Maybe I’m imagining that you are looking at my right arm but after being around for so many years, I think that I can tell the difference between a passing glance and  a stare.

As a child, this would make me feel uncomfortable and I would often want to hide.  As an adult, I get  mad.  In a society in which we are expected to be welcoming and tolerant of people from all backgrounds and cultures, why do I sometimes feel like I’m being isolated?

I sometimes want to walk up to you and tell you to take a picture.  Perhaps I have done that to some of you.  My mouth can often say things which perhaps should remain in my head, but when I feel these stares, I feel the need to prove myself.

As we age, there are certain aspects of our lives which remain with us until the end.  Memories – good and bad.  How we treated others and how we were treated.  I don’t want to be seen as the person with 1 hand – I want to be seen as the person.

Those that know me see me as a whole person – some that see me in passing do not share this view.

I only share this in an effort to help you to understand how your eyes can make someone else feel.  Your eyes can have an impact in someone’s day and life.  Your eyes can be remembered or forgotten.  Your eyes can take someone back to an uncomfortable time in their lives and make someone feel insecure and uncomfortable.

My days of wanting to hide are years behind me yet the anger that I feel when you look and judge me remains.  Your eyes are one of the reasons why I share my story – so that when you next see me or someone like me, you see the whole person and treat us no differently than anyone else.

Would you feel comfortable asking me questions?  I always encourage it but would you?

Until next time, thanks for reading!!

 

 

 

No Disability Here!

Definition of disability

a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person’s ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions

The above definition comes from the Merriam-Webster dictionary.  I must admit that I find this very interesting having been referred to as disabled or handicapped (having a condition that markedly restricts one’s ability to function physically, mentally, or socially.)  at certain times in my life.

I never felt defined by this definition, despite being born with a congenital birth defect to my right arm.    I have always felt that this was a label which others would assign to me,  assuming that because of my appearance, I must have limited abilities.

Continue reading “No Disability Here!”

How Judgement Can Impact You

In February of 2017, I purchased a bright red 2017 Honda Rebel 300. (named Hankster 1.0)  Once I took delivery of the bike in May, it was transported to Mission Cycle in Angus  Ontario so that Todd could work his magic of modifying it for me so that I could ride with one (left) hand.

The modifications were actually very minor – a finger throttle and centrifugal force clutch which disengages the engine based on rpms was installed, followed by my front brake being attached to the front left lever which is the clutch for everyone else.

I took my training in early July and successfully passed the evaluation, losing only 3 of 12 points, and as a result obtained my M2 license.

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Hello! Allow Me To Introduce Myself!

Hello

Welcome to PROBLEM SOLVED, a site devoted to inspirational and motivational stories.  In this, my first post, my intent is to introduce myself to you so that can become acquainted with me.

So who am I?  Friends call me Ang or Angie.   I was born with  congenital birth defects some of which are clearly visible (i.e. my right arm and hand did not fully develop ), some which are not (i.e. smaller right shoulder).  Apparently, I rolled rather than crawled as an infant since it was faster for me to get to where I was going.

As a young girl I was stared at, made fun of, bullied and at times ostracized.  At times, it was difficult to deal with this however I resolved to never allow this to get to me.  I would never listen when others told me that I couldn’t do something or that I was funny looking.

Continue reading “Hello! Allow Me To Introduce Myself!”